About Lee

I was born August 21, 1948 at 11:42 pm in the small town of Waseca, Minnesota, and raised in the even smaller farming community of Otisco, MN (population: 60). My life began to unfold mystically at an early age.

I have certain brief memories of before the age of three, but at the age of three, my life began to be transformed. I had contracted rheumatic fever and my father was taking me to the doctor. As he was stopping the car, I left my body and hovered about 25 feet above the car. I watched him parallel park the car, get out, come around to the passenger side, and lift my body out of the back seat. I watched him carry my body about a half-block to the doctor’s office. The whole time, “I” was hovering about 25 feet above, observing this.

A number of things happened while I was out of the body. One thing is that I went from feeling the aches and pains of a disease and illness to feeling bliss, light, and intoxication of consciousness, or a lighter body. I identified, not with my physical body, but with my spirit body or soul, as my 3-year-old consciousness interpreted it. I also had communion with a larger Spirit, which my 3-year-old consciousness referred to as God.  This “voice” or communion stated that I would not be coming home at this time because I had things to do. After this communion ended, I went back into my body, which was by then in the doctor’s office, being held by my father.

With this first mystical experience, a number of things were made evident and helped shape my life from that point on. The first thing was that I was not the physical body.  I was a consciousness that had a physical body. Secondly, earth, and/or my physical body, were not “home.”  This larger voice, or heaven, was my home. Thirdly, I knew that one can commune or communicate with God. Even at a young age, I realized that I was more than just the body; rather I was a soul that wears the body for its journey through life. This began to define my life from the age of three. This also began to define my language. I found that the religious or spiritual language was sometimes the only language that included that which is beyond the physical, the metaphysical, or the mystical.

The next marked experience happened during the summer of 1958. I was around 9 or 10 years old. I was walking in the woods, which were about a mile from my home.  This experience came as a vision with light, energy, and joy. I saw myself in a much older body giving a talk about spirituality and wholistic living, and mentioned to the people that they should read my books. This experience let me know I would be alive for a while, that I would be talking with people about spirituality, and that I would be  writing books.

I continued living my life in what I consider a normal childhood.  I attended public schools, played with friends, and pursued my interests.  However, around age fourteen, my interests began to include more spirituality, as well as athletics, socializing, music, dancing, and writing. At the age of fifteen, I remember having a conversation with my father, who told me that God had created us to work and fulfill our duty. I remember being shocked by this conversation, and being shocked by my response, because it was like it almost leapt from my consciousness. I said, “No, God created me for happiness and joy.” This idea, and a young boy’s mind without full discernment of what that meant, did bring me some poor choices and some suffering, I might add.

The accumulation of both mystical and worldly experiences brought me to this next milestone in my life.  During the summer of ‘68, I was going to summer school in Winona, Minnesota, and I noticed that there was a transformation happening.  I was realizing that my life was not fitting into society, but more importantly, I no longer wanted to fit into society.  One day after classes, I walked down to the lake and sat under a tree and began to meditate.  While I was meditating I had a vision of myself standing outside of a glass house and looking in at the people inside, who all seemed to be enjoying a rather large gathering or dinner party.  And as I was looking in, it was like an attachment was disappearing and I felt I no longer had interest in joining in.  Instead I stepped back and turned to face the sky and the stars and the heavens above.  And as I did, I felt a wave of peace and joy wash over me.  This vision only lasted a few minutes, but it seemed to summarize what I was experiencing that summer.

I began to develop more interest in the ancient mysteries, the metaphysical and the sacred. I began seeing the harmony in all life, rather than just seeing a college education and what was limited to my place in society, or even the current human and social conditions.  This realization was the beginning of my inward journey. Although I did not renounce or withdraw from society, my focus began to turn towards the inner life.

The next milestone mystical experience happened when I was about 21 years old.  A girl walked into a room and she radiated like an angel. The light was just emanating from her, and soon the light seemed to fill the whole room. I could feel the love, joy, and beauty with this experience. I interpreted this as being able to see the soul’s radiance. It took me a while, maybe 9–10 months, where if I really made the effort, I could have this experience of seeing all the way to the soul with other people. This experience allowed me to see that everyone, myself, this girl, all other people, are all truly created in the Divine image. I felt the same joy, intoxication, and love that I experienced at age three when I was out of my body and communing with this larger Spirit, and at age ten with the vision of myself giving a talk. I was now able to see and have this experience with other people in everyday interactions and experiences. I realized that experiencing everyone being created in the image of God was not something that could be experienced only in the quiet of meditation, but was also something you could actually see and experience on the outward journey. This was a turning point, or another milestone in my journey. This caused me to begin to look for the light or divinity everywhere, rather than just go along with life waiting for it to come to me in a sunset here or a mystical experience there. This experience also stimulated my search for actual meditation techniques. I began research in theology, philosophy, and Eastern and Western religions in a much more sincere effort.

When I was about 26, I was walking one night on a country road.  As I was crossing a bridge over a small river, the whole night exploded into light.  Everything became translucent and transparent.  I could see through the trees, into the earth, through the bridge and the hillside.  I could see leaf-like light floating and permeating everything.  This prana,[1] or manna, as I understood it at the time, was permeating the hillside, the trees, the earth, and my body. I began to experience what I called the Truth, or harmony, or the Christ/Krishna-consciousness; the harmony and the oneness of life were being revealed. This experience went on for around 45 minutes.

This motivated me to begin a more consistent inward journey. Shortly after this I encountered a few holy ones who were on the planet (and some who were not) and their books. I found books, books by Paramahansa Yogananda, like Autobiography of a Yogi, and books by Swami Rama of the Himalayan Institute. I was able to meet Gurudev Chitrabhanu  and get his books and meditation techniques. I made more  effort because this experience at age 26 was very similar to the feelings of joy, intoxication, and freedom I had at age 21 with the experience of seeing the soul radiating out of the girl. It was similar to the feelings I had with the vision at age ten, and the out of body experience at age three. They were all very similar in feeling. My interpretation and depth of understanding was the main thing that was different.     After the experience at age 26, I began to sincerely pursue the spiritual practices of reading and meditating, and had many visions of different holy ones, including the ones on a suggested reading list, that I have included at the end of my books.

When I talk about The Life And Times Of A Mystic And A Poet, I am talking about a lot of metaphysical, or beyond the body, beyond the earth-type experiences that were throughout my whole life. The “poet” is from my desire to share my experiences, because between the age of three when I was still playing, and the age of nine or ten, I began to notice that people had suffering, fears, and anger. In my child-like view, I thought the main cause of suffering was this lack of personal knowledge that there was life beyond our own time and reality. These things became somewhat apparent to me in childhood, so striving to write about and express these things became a direction in my life, and part of the goal of this incarnation, which was to record the human experience from childhood, youth, middle age, and maturity from a more wholistic perspective.

My poetry is a journal of my wholistic experiences.  Most of my poems started from the transcended or mystical experiences and reached down into the physical, the material, and then went back up again, like a wave.  Even though my poetry doesn’t explain all this, to me it is like keys or records of my mystical life, my mystical experiences.  All of my mystical experiences have had a common feeling of lightness, joy, bliss, energy, and energization that lasted several days. Poetry allows me to record and share with those who are interested. I’ve tried to find the universality of language in this expression. These first noticeable experiences were guiding directions in my life.  They were mileposts or stimulants along the way.

To go back a few years, I am someone who has tried to be a follower of love.  I have delighted in both the worldly and the mystical delights. I went to public schools and had mystical experiences, but did not share them at the time. I tried to tell a few of my experiences when I was younger, but my parents and others threatened to have me locked up or de-demonized, so I felt this was not the conversation I wanted to have at that time in my life. This year’s retreat (in 2004) was about The Life And Times Of A Mystic And A Poet. I began to talk about my mystical experiences and my poetry in a public forum.

In 1985, when I was asking different holy ones what should be done, what I should do, what I should work towards, I had Swami Rama, Hazrat Inayat Khan, and Babaji[2] all appear separately, but in the same meditation, and give me a different answer, seemingly contradictory. As this caused conflict, I just said, “I can’t do this anymore.  Only You Divine Mother, only You, only You will be my Satguru, my guide.”  With this came the experience of Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram that I had experienced in each of the powerful experiences, only this time everything turned to white. Then the white turned into formlessness and out of the formlessness manifested this pure white rose. The intoxication that came with this was beyond description.

These experiences are not my total life, rather like milestones in my life. They have certainly shaped how my life has unfolded. I have had many mystical experiences throughout my life, from early childhood on, which are not mentioned in this introduction. Most are recorded in my poetry. Some experiences happened in concentration; and in later years, in meditation.  Some experiences just happened when I was walking or sitting. I have tried to make a journal, understand, and express the universalness of the human experience and the human spirit. I have recorded this journey from the perspective of someone who has had both material and mystical experiences throughout life. This is why I refer to my life as The Life And Times Of A Mystic And A Poet.  I have tried to record a more wholistic view.  My poetry, whether starting from the mystical and including the physical, or starting from the physical and expanding out to include the mystical, is how I have tried to express the wholistic experiences.

I have had what I consider a normal human life. As a child, I played, got hurt, had diseases, got healed up, went out and explored. I have had to work hard for some things, and have been disappointed in other things. I have the joy of falling in love, marriage, and being part of my children’s life. I have the hopes, dreams, and even the seeming contradictions of the human experience, which also includes my mystical experiences.  My poetry is a journal of my experiences, a journey and expression of the human spirit.

The idea of incompleteness brings about all human suffering.  It brings about all suffering of the human spirit.  The soul will call out for more until there is a completion.  The completion of the soul is its union with the whole or God.  While we are seeking this union, we have to understand our purpose and goal, understand what interests us and what work we want to do so that we will continue to grow and be happy and healthy. Our journey, whether on earth or in the heavens, must have perspective and balance. The triune nature of person-to-self, person-to-God, and person-to-other people has to be learned and taken into consideration. This is all part of the journey, the sharing, the inhalation and the exhalation. To truly delight in life we have to realize that we are incomplete standing amongst the fleeting subtleties of our completeness, and strive to make our awareness  complete, strive to be wholistic.  candlelight flickering in the dark of the dancing night.  We must strive to make our self-realization complete.

I wrote a poem in 2003 that ends with:

 

it is the love

             within life

                    that makes the heart sing

          and it is the

               beauty of life

                    that allows

     the soul to dance

This is talking about two different things. One is the finding of delight—the reason we wake up, fall in love, see the beauty, have the goals and the desires that make the heart sing. It is what brings about the happiness, joy, and enthusiasm. But, we must also find the love of life itself, the beauty of the cosmic wholeness, of the karma, of the triune nature and harmonize with the Satyam nature of life. This allows us to delight in everyday life. We cannot delight in everyday life unless we have a more wholistic picture of life. I give talks on meditation; it helps me to share that there is more to life than the four primal instincts,[3] more to life than the material world. I share, not just my experiences to help inspire others, but also share the meditation techniques, the sacred sciences of how to calm down the mind, body, breath, and ego so others can have their own experiences.

My life and poetry are a reflection of the delight I have had this lifetime, with a little sorrow sprinkled in, which has deepened my compassion for all those who are suffering.

when the flame

becomes

the fire

and the fire

becomes the flame

the dance

and the dancer

are one

This is about seeing that we are created in the image of God, about realizing our divine nature and about experiencing the oneness of God. My whole life I have strived to see the dance (the creation) and the dancer (God) as one; to see and experience that the flame (soul) comes from the fire (God) and the fire creates the flame.

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