The 2012 Retreat Poem is about the Sacred Fire, about seeing the essence behind the form, within the form, and of the form.
WELL HERE I sit
watching the rain fall
along with some old memories
of a younger man’s life
I was sitting watching the rain fall, and memories started happening, like they do with everyone. There were memories of a younger man’s life, memories of my younger days, of this incarnation and a few others, so I began to write down this poem.
memories of lost years
and chasing illusions
of lover’s broken promises
and bouquets of flowers and tears
memories of lost years and chasing illusions…I could see clearly how I had gotten caught up in Original Sin. I could see how I had spent wasted years chasing what I thought was the truth. of lover’s broken promises and bouquets of flowers and tears. If one has the courage of self-honesty, they will be able to see, like I was,…all of my sins being laid out before me like a feast at the devil’s table…to see all the beliefs of what one thinks will bring love and happiness into our life, seeing how we have the samskaras of both incompleteness and separateness that need to be worked through and gone beyond.
of a search for love
in the music and the wine
and in all the beauty of the earth
even in the heavens above
From the age of three, when I had the experience of being out of the body and communing with God, and experienced Satyam, which is the nature of God and also everyone’s nature, I have spent the rest of my life trying to get back to that state of consciousness. This has been my spiritual journey. Before I had the sacred mantras, I tried looking for love everywhere…in relationships, in studies, in athletics, in music, in wine. This is what this stanza is about…and in all the beauty of the earth, about my time seeking beauty, and trying to express this love and beauty with words, with art, and philosophy, and my poetry…even in the heavens above. Life, for me, has been about seeking the beauty of essence and form, inclusive of the inner essence radiating all the way through to the physical manifestation of beauty.
and as the rain falls
the moment seems hidden
along with my soul
in the shadows of the dance
Unless one is ever-vigilant, the influences of the mayac sheath and Original Sin will blind a person to the beauty of life and God. Then we must once again make the effort to identify with our wholistic nature, and see the Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram nature of our soul and life.
of sunlight and moonlight
and warm summer days
and long starry nights
and how it was
This is about those moments when we get caught in the illusion, or idea of separateness, and can no longer feel the love. the moment seems hidden…we cannot come to the moment (our eternal nature). Thoughts are distracting us. The past, the future, ideas or beliefs, are distracting us and the moment seems hidden. And along with my soul…is when we are not feeling that love, or our Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram nature, when we are not identifying with our soul. in the shadows of the dance…the dance of sunlight and moonlight and warm summer days and long starry nights and how it was with you. The dance I get lost in is in the three bodies,[*] this dance that catches so many of us and makes it difficult to realize our wholistic nature. The cosmic dance can be beautiful or painful, depending on whether we are identifying with our wholistic or limited nature.
to dance with you
in the summer rain
how we laughed and cried
and held each other tight
This is the beginning of being open to life, to truly feel open-hearted and open with life, with the summer rains, with the animals, with nature, with human beings, with friends, with family and even as young lovers. to dance with you in the summer rain how we laughed and cried and held each other tight…this is coming to that state of love, beginning with family, evolving into romance and love of another, even infatuation with the beauty of life, romance, even infatuation with another, the beginning of surrendering to the ever-newness of the Divine Impulse. It is the desire to feel connected to another, and experiencing this connection within the human family, and ultimately with all life (God).
and if i close my eyes
i can still feel
the touch of your body
against my skin tonight
Like everyone who has experienced love and wants more, there will be the desire to surrender and feel the ecstasy of the Satyam. Not only is this a memory for me this lifetime, but it is also a fairly universal feeling amongst lovers. Sometimes my memories just don’t seem to stop once they start; like an avalanche, they go back in time, including other lifetimes and times in the heavens. and if i close my eyes i can still feel the touch of your body against my skin tonight…if one is willing to live in the moment, then their memories will be as full as the moment was, including all they were aware of in the moment. And there is no greater moment or memory that one can have than that feeling of ecstasy which love brings to our heart.
oh the touch
of your golden body
against my soul
and on my skin tonight
This stanza is expressing more than just the body and senses. It is experiencing the beauty of the soul radiating through. When it is no longer enough to have just the physical senses (Sex), we will want to add Love. And when Sex and even Love are no longer enough, we will want more and must strive to attain Prayer (Thankfulness and Appreciation for all life). Then when Sex, Love, and Prayer do not fulfill us, we will seek Transcendence in order to experience our completeness, our wholistic nature, and the wholistic nature of all life.
and your kisses
so sweet and warm
touching my heart
like sunlight on water
This is about the surrender into Satyam (Love), the feelings of Love and ecstasy when one comes to the heart. This can happen with a literal kiss, a connection with another, or the Holy Stream…your kisses so sweet and warm…this union with God, the connection with the Christ/Krishna Consciousness, and our kisses so deep and warm.
and our kisses
so deep and warm
started the fire
that inflames my soul
and our kisses so deep and warm started the fire that inflames my soul…This stanza is about the experience that started with me seeing the soul within Maggie, when I first met her, prompting me to want to see the soul of everybody. For the next few years, I was obsessed with seeing the soul in everyone I encountered. It was easier to see in some, and more difficult in others. This is what this line means…and our kisses so deep and warm started the fire that inflames my soul. It is to look for that eternal Satyam in all forms and behind all the forms. This seeking is what truly helps make my life a journey towards the Open Path. This desire for Satyam is what I want to see and experience above all else. It allows me to live in the experience of seeking love and experiencing love. However, because no soul is omniscient, and because the Open Path includes the Four Natural Inclinations,[†] there will be growing pains along the way. However, as Hazrat Inayat Khan said, one of the greatest secrets of happiness in this life, is in the continuous learning and growing, and the study of life and God is the greatest study of all.
and as the rain falls
no one knows
about those sweet kisses
that awakened my heart
Before meeting Maggie, my experiences with love had been dichotomized. I could feel the love in the mystical experiences, and I could feel a limited form of love in my worldly experiences. However, the experience of seeing and feeling the beauty of her soul radiating from her body brought both heaven and earth together for a wholistic experience. With the (sattvic) effort, I was able to experience this wholisticness not only with her, but with others and with nature. I began to have experiences of Shiva and Shakti ever in union, with moments of sabikalpa samadhi, which I have made the effort to experience continuously.
and as the rain falls
no one knows
about that perfect touch
of your body against mine
God is the dance and the dancer. God includes both the formless Satyam Consciousness, and also the Divine vibration of that Consciousness all the way into form. and as the rain falls no one knows about that perfect touch of your body against mine…this is the ecstasy that can be experienced with the union with the Christ/Krishna Consciousness (Word), and to feel the dynamics in our cells and in all the atoms of our body, which is happening all the time. This awareness of the Christ/Krishna Consciousness that permeates all life is a state of ecstasy filled with Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram. This ecstasy can also be experienced with the union of Shiva and Shakti in activity (Tantra), not just in the quiet or stillness of meditation (Shanti).
and as the rain falls
no one knows
how my soul dances with you
in the summer rain
At all times, I am looking to experience the dynamics of Satyam Consciousness. I’m not just talking about doing the mantra, Om Satyam, but to actually feel the bliss, intoxication, and energy in all my cells. This is about the awareness of that perfect touch of your body against mine, and then having this awareness while active…the dances with you in the summer rain. The perfect touch is to be inwardly aware of this Satyam (Soul) Consciousness, and to feel or experience this connection of all life.
and as the rain falls
no one knows
of this golden fire
that dances in the summer rain
This stanza is about experiencing the bliss of Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram. Although I am not a very extroverted person this incarnation, I am willing to write about my mystical experiences in my poetry. I am also willing to share my experiences and what is uplifting to the human spirit with my talks and spiritual retreats. The mystical is available to any who tread the inward journey with concentration and discipline because it is our eternal nature.
This poem expresses how inwardly I am experiencing the bliss, joy, and delight of life, without expressing the joy outwardly in an obvious or extroverted manner…no one knows…not making it obvious for the whole world to see. This does not mean that others cannot be aware of this joy that I feel, only that I am not calling attention to it with my words or behavior, other than in my poetry.
There are many very visible realized souls that offered to share their journey.[‡] One of the many blissful Holy Ones that this planet has had in my lifetime was Bhagwan Sri Rajneesh (Osho). He was ostracized from many countries in the world. He came to America, and was eventually jailed in America on issues of freedom of religion, and then was released from jail. When he tried to go to other countries they would not let him in; his life seemed too controversial. Finally, his home country of India let him back in, but seemed reluctant to do so. And why this ostracizing from the world? Because he said that God is a celebration; life is a celebration; Sex is legitimate, along with Love and Prayer and Transcendence, and should be a celebration. The world does not seem quite ready to accept this mystical theology and delight in the celebration of life.
But there will be those who are willing to embrace the mystical journey, and it is these delightful souls that will come to my poetry with an open heart and enjoy the love and beauty and celebration that I attempt to share in this book. My life has been blessed with many mystical experiences and visions of Holy Ones, from childhood onward. I have attempted to express what was shared, with my poetry, and have even given a brief interpretation of the poems in this book, in order to share with others what has been shared with me.
dances in the sunshine
and moonlit starry nights
dances on earth
and dances on the water
I’m not just referring to a dance with a young lady in my youth. dances in the sunshine and moonlit starry nights dances on earth and dances on the water. Water is symbolic of consciousness, “Let Thy Will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” This dance of wanting to be in love (Satyam) both in the heavens and on earth, and to have the Satyam (God) Consciousness at all times, is what true spirituality is about. This experience of pure Satyam is what the soul is calling out for, whether in the summer rain or sunshine, or on earth, or in the heavens above, and ultimately the formless God Consciousness. This celebration of love and beauty and the joy of living life, is what I have attempted to experience with my life and share with my poetry.
and as the rain falls
no one knows
of this golden fire
consuming my memories
A few stanzas ago we had…well here i sit watching the rain fall along with some old memories of a younger man’s life. Once this golden fire catches, it consumes the past, and even burns samskaras, helping us to attain freedom into life.
burning all of the desires
in my body and my soul
like so many ashes in the wind
all except that one in my heart
The longer we can identify with this intense Satyam feeling, this golden fire within us (the soul), the more we will burn the bonds of our samskaras, our memories and beliefs of incompleteness. When we come back from that experience, we just won’t want to pick up the limitations of our samskaras again. We will just say, “As a child I ate as a child, spake as a child, and I played as a child. Now I have other things I would rather be thinking about, and doing, and talking about.” We can leave our limited karma behind. We can continue on with our learning and growing because the grace of God (Shalom), the Word (Om), says that all has been given and we are complete. We are the ones who choose to identify with either this tiny limited past karma that is our view of reality, or with our higher nature. This small karmic bondage is such a minute part of life compared to all of God. We have free will, and we can choose to live with a larger more wholistic view of life.
to dance with you
in the summer rain
and laugh and cry
and touch your golden body
My poetry is about the beauty and delight of this love affair that I have with Satyam or the Sacred Fire. The Sacred Fire is this love of love, recognizing and seeing it in all the beauty, the harmony of the essence, and in the forms of both heaven and earth. with the delirious intensity of losing control I have danced on the mountain tops insanely high and crawled across desert floors dangerously low desiring more mountains and deserts. I look to expand my vision of life or God by seeking more mountains and deserts, more essence and form, even though it will bring both laughter and tears.
We must accept the creation as having both positive or unlimited (sattvic) and negative or limited (tamasic) qualities within it. We cannot know God, appreciate life, or even be happy without this understanding and acceptance. However, that being stated, we have control of the amount of sattvic or tamasic thoughts, words, and deeds in our life, and thus we can be a master of our destiny by our vision, knowledge, and joy of life (God).
and as the rain falls
no one knows
of the waves of beauty
in every teardrop and every smile
When you are in love with life, including the form, there will also be teardrops that will accompany life. There will be beginnings and endings to even the most beautiful patterns. Still, we can create a vision of life that has days of laughter, moments of sorrow by identifying with our eternal nature of Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram, looking through the eyes of God i’m not sure i’ll ever tire of…
and no one knows
of the waves of love
that fall from your lips
in every warm kiss
This is the love that is overflowing when you are willing to be open, and give to life (or appreciate) unconditionally, whether to the moon and stars above, or the beauty of the earth, or a child, a lover, or the whole of life. The warmth and openness of allowing one’s open heart/mind is the warm kiss (connection), which allows the love, Satyam, to come bubbling through and should be a part of our life. Whether it is a kiss of passion, or of friendship, or the feeling of bathing in the Holy Stream, or feeling the connection to all life, a warm kiss is about making a connection with another…whether a friend, lover, or God.
and as the rain falls
no one knows
how i love to dance with you
and touch your golden body
Inside I am feeling the touch of your golden body against mine. Inside I am delighting with the bliss and joy I feel. I choose to keep it hidden behind an exterior of calm. During the Satya Yuga I may come out and dance naked, and people will be able to see this ecstasy I feel in my body and my soul and every expression I share. But for now, this ecstasy I feel is hidden behind the clothing of peace and calm and equanimity. However, anyone that is willing to look beyond the external clothing will be able to see and experience this Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram ecstasy of the soul that is dancing in the summer rain.
to dance with you
in the summer rain
and laugh and cry
and touch your golden body
This is about feeling the union with God in the form, the vibration of the Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram nature of our soul, and of all life, all the way to the physical. to dance with you in the summer rain is a poetic way of saying, “to bathe in the Holy Stream.” and laugh and cry and touch your golden body…is about living wholistically, Shiva and Shakti, while focusing on the Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram of life.
and if i close my eyes
i can still feel
the touch of your body
against my skin tonight
I like the feeling of bliss and delighting in life. I haven’t always felt it this lifetime, and I’ve had to work hard to get that state of experiencing bliss along with delighting in life. If you quiet your mind and come to your heart, you can begin to feel the bliss and joy of your soul and its connection with God. the touch of your body against my skin tonight…to feel the radiance of the soul all the way to the physical.
and as the rain falls
no one knows
of this golden fire
that dances in the summer rain
We all have this golden fire within. It is the soul. We are created in the image of God. We are the ones who have to open up and go dancing in the summer rain (Holy Stream), and dance with the summer rain. If we do not realize this Satyam within us, we won’t have the experience of delight and bliss in our daily life. We have to choose whom, devils or angels, we will romance and dance with in the summer rain, the limited or the unlimited.
and as the rain falls
no one knows
how i love to dance with you
and touch your golden body
We need to accept the temporariness of the three bodies and the eternalness of the soul. We all desire to have the experience of love. We all desire human affection. We all want to feel we fit in and feel the connection to life. However, it is difficult to feel a secure connection in the temporary and ever-changing nature of the creation, but at the soul level we are all eternally connected. If we can calm down our mind, senses, and body, we can experience this connection. We need to calm down all three bodies in order to get to our soul and feel this connection. This is what this line is about…as the rain falls no one knows how I love to dance with you and touch your golden body. This is about experiencing the golden realm of the soul. Whomever I meet, I look to see the soul radiating through. I have worked hard to see the soul within everyone. I don’t allow other’s samskaras to stop me from seeing the realm of the soul, and feeling that connection with life, either in activity or in meditation.
to dance with you
in the summer rain
and laugh and cry
and touch your golden body
This is about, not just being in love with God in the formless, but also being in love and delighting in the whole cosmic dance, the dance of/with Leela, all the way to the physical. to dance with you in the summer rain and laugh and cry…because it will include both laughing and crying. I am just striving to make the majority of my life the laughter, joy, and love. This is what the poem is about…days of laughter and moments of sorrow. This is what the Mystic and a Poet is about, being wholistic, a dance of fire and light, a dance of essence and form.
This last poem is about a surrendering to the nature of God/Life as a cosmic wave of both consciousness and form, and the delight and ecstasy of that dance…
when the flame
becomes
the fire
and the fire
becomes
the flame
the dance
and the
dancer
are one
Namaste
[*] The soul takes on three bodies; the causal, astral, and physical, to explore existence. These three bodies are all under the influence of Maya and Original Sin.
[†] Four natural inclinations: While exploring and expanding their vision and knowledge, the Mystics discover that the human being has four natural inclinations. 1) The first inclination is the desire to experience peace, love, or ecstasy. This is the Om Satyam nature and correlates to the eternal nature of the soul. 2) The second inclination is the desire to know and attain knowledge and power. This correlates with the Om Shivam and the causal body or the mind. 3) The third inclination is to enjoy, appreciate, and experience beauty and joy, which correlates to the Om Sundaram and the astral body. 4) The fourth inclination is action. We want to do, explore, and wholistically experience the Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram nature of all life, which is possible in the physical body.
[‡] See Reading List
